When the house is quiet and the day is almost finshed. Everything seems to be so clear, During the day it all seems like a haze. Just keep a foot is all that matters and Surival mode kicks in. When the kids are asleep I pray for all their needs now and in the future. I listen to them breathing in and then out. I truley understand the gift of life and just how simple it can be. How we make it so hard with things that really don't matter in the long run but some how we get caught up in the lies that the media and others are telling you.
When all is quiet and you can just sit. I hear the hum of the fish tank and the air conditioner kick on and then off. These moments I really enjoy so I can really think and unblur the day and be thankful for it.
Today the preacher has been speaking about living the adventure...today message was about how to finsh what you started.....I don't know about you its really easy to start a project then to finsh it.
I know that you are saying this is true!!! I know at this stage of my life I am wondering if I am doing a good job at anything or just making it through to the next day and then the next hoping that it will get easier. He gave these verses that totally spoke to me and the place that I am in today.
"Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race" [phipplians 3:13]
This really spoke to me.... Satan uses the past to holds us down. I know that what he uses to me. I replay everything that I have done and what I could of done to make it better or different. It amazes me even years later I am still going over it and over it. Sometimes I wish it would leave me alone. With this verse I realized that I can be released from this and move on and that is okay. Its so easy to forgive others but when It comes to yourself its so hard to forgive what you have done in the past. I can finsh this race and I know I can do it and win the gold!!!!!
What a purpose and a hope that the Lord gives us. He wants to reward the faithful even when we don't think we deserve it. "to win the contest you must deny yourselves many things that would keep you from doing your best...but we do it for a heavenly reward that never disappears. So, I run straight to the goal with PURPOSE in every step" 1Corthians 9:25-26
Also the pastor said something that was so profone to me and It hit me right in the innermost part of me is this. Its about how you finsh the race and not how you started. WOW, I have always been ashamed of where I came from and how I was raised in the system. That other people with a mom and a dad with sisters and brothers where better then me. It was like they had one up on me because they had something I never had.
Now I realize that even families that have everything aren't perfact and all have family issues that can hinder them. So, in reality we are all the same with the same struggle. What a freeing thought for a person like myself who always compared myself to everybody and everything thinking that if only I had that kind of family I would be here or wouldn't be struggling with this thought or problem.
Everybody is in the same boat, that is how God sees it. He is faithful even when we aren't I had some one very close to me one day said I doubt you are even a chrisian..... For years I have doubted myself and to be honest I am sick and tied of playing that game. I want that strength that Paul had. He had done some pretty bad things before he became a christian but in the end he finshed the race with honors. God used him even when every disicple didn't beleive at first that he was a christian. Its amazing that God picks the most unlikely people in the bible....that gives me hope that he has great things in store for me now and in the future. I know that I love the Lord and I know I am still learning but aren't we all? "I know for me and my household we praise the Lord" AMen <>< God who began a good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finshed" Phil 1:6
I will finsh up with that verse God bless and goodnight <><>
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