Here are some more pictures of my cuties, How can you not love them!!! My husband put easter eggs that they have been playing with ever since easter on Kenzies ears. It was a very funny moment. My son is such a little ham. Here he saw me playing with the camera and he said mommy....cheese. what could of done but snap a picture of it. Scott is off at work and the kids are sleeping and it seems like nothing is on the t.v. on saturdays. You would think there would be but all the shows I watch are during the week.
I cannot beleive that my daughter is going to be two this december.....I want to keep her small but I know growing is apart of life and as well letting go our children into Gods hands. Its hard even for me to even imagine allowing my children going into the school system. I still have time to get used to them going to school. I know I am not gifted enough to home school even though there is apart of me that really wants to because then I can protect them. Anyhow, that is a whole different story altogether. My husband beleives that school is a good thing and that nothing will happen or damage them beyond repair.
Still getting used to my contacts...they switched my strength but I am having problems focusing on the right eye. I might call the doc on Monday. Glasses seems to be easier.
But its nice to see my eyes not under my glasses. Its somthing different :0) We put up our christmas tree and the cat seems to love eating it. Between the cat and the kids I don't know what is going to left of it at christmas.
Anyhow, I guess thats enough nothings for now....its weird when its quiet I get so bored. I wish I could be comfortable with queitness. Its never been my speciality. I think its just my personality. I have calmed down alot since high school but still have some things that will never change. Maybe thats why when I am alone I always have the T.V. on or the radio. Anyhow, have a great sunday morning and until next time <><

Happy Thanksgiving

We just had a great family thanksgiving...well the best you can have away from attended family. Here are some pictures of the kids and us the parents. Its the first picture with my contacts. Everything went successful with our dinner. I manage to cook everything just right. We even made homemade pies. Pumkin and cherry. Yummy......tonight we had my favorite cold turkey sandwiches.....:0) My husband didn't like it but we surely did. I watched the history channel last night about how thanksgiving started. I am glad that thanksgiving cannot be commercialized like christmas has been. You get eat great food and spend time with family or like we did some friends. Just to be be glad for what the Lord has given you.....
I am thankful for the life the Lord has given me, the husband and the children. They enrich my life every single minute of the day. <><

just stuff :0)

As I am sitting here watching one of my favorite tv shows...Battlestar Gallactica I thought I should write I am so excited about the new James Bond movie!!! Probably won't see until it comes out on video. (But we might get a babysitter if we are lucky.)

We are getting ready to have a thanksgiving dinner and this year we are going to have guests from India.They work with Scott and they never had a turkey feast. I am going to bake pumkin pie and cherry pie by myself.....I wonder how its going to turn out.

I went to the grand opening to Ikea two days ago....It was amazing!!! I found the bed and the bedding I am going to get for Mackenzie for her 2nd birthday. Its so reasonable priced compared to all those other stores. I also found my coach and oversized arm chairs that I am going to buy next year. Also my wood flooring for the hallway all reasonable priced...... I am so excited to get rid of the carpeting that the kids have messed up. Lots to do in the next year coming up. :0)

My little girl birthday is coming up on the dec 1st, she going to be two years old, its amazing to me how two years can fly by. She is my little butterfly...growing up everyday. She probably our last child we'll have naturally but down the road we are going to adopt a foster child...an older one but when the kids are older. Scott thinks they have the right to be the oldest and so they can truley understand and be part of the process. Which is something I didn't think of. Of course my better half thinks of things I never think of. He's amazing man and I am so blessed to call him my husband. <><

without glasses......

You heard me I am without glasses... I finally got contacts! I went to get new glasses but the doctor said I should try contacts and that my lazy eye could be corrected with contacts. Wow, its so weird not heaving glasses....but weird that I can see as good as 20/20 Yahoo :0) BMH <><

God gives us wisdom

God is the real source of wisdom and strength....Job 12:13CEV

Ive have been growing so much since this September. Ive been taking this womenhood class and what they have been teaching us at MOPS. God is really the source of all good things. He wants to bless us, we just have to give over control. Being married and having children is such a different stage to be in. You are pulled by life in all different direactions. Its hard to know true wisdom and how to relate to all who need you. I ve been married for six years and been a mother for three years. I am still learning in both areas. Its great to see how you wait on the Lord, he will renew your strenght espcially when I feel exhusted or just drained. One of my favorite verses is this.

But they wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary;they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 TLB

This word in the greek is active not passive. Wait with expectiveness and the Lord will renew us. I want God to expose all my sin, So I can be closer to him but also lead my family in Godly path which is so important for him since of my background. God is good even at this stage of my life. He meets us where we are at and gives us what we need to make it through the day,week month and years. Thank you God for renewing us :0) BMH<><

God is the real source of wisdom and strength....Job 12:13CEV

Ive have been growing so much since this September. Ive been taking this womenhood class and what they have been teaching us at MOPS. God is really the source of all good things. He wants to bless us, we just have to give over control. Being married and having children is such a different stage to be in. You are pulled by life in all different direactions. Its hard to know true wisdom and how to relate to all who need you. I ve been married for six years and been a mother for three years. I am still learning in both areas. Its great to see how you wait on the Lord, he will renew your strenght espcially when I feel exhusted or just drained. One of my favorite verses is this.

But they wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary;they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 TLB

This word in the greek is active not passive. Wait with expectiveness and the Lord will renew us. I want God to expose all my sin, So I can be closer to him but also lead my family in Godly path which is so important for him since of my background. God is good even at this stage of my life. He meets us where we are at and gives us what we need to make it through the day,week month and years. Thank you God for renewing us :0) BMH<><

sorry I hit the boton too many times...it might of publish my post too many times :0) opps

touch the sky

My son was on our swing in our backyard and he was yelling at the top of his lungs...up to the sky Mommy!!! It was the cutest moment...one of those to save and remember when he is older and I can say remember when......the sweet innocence of childhood. They can touch the sky and even the stars if they wanted too. I long for that courage and that pure thanksufllness of being alive. During my spin class I realize life is way to short to worry about silly things or stress out about stupid things that take away your zest for life. I wonder when I allowed life to take away that pure life that God intended us to have. I want to go outside and yell at the top of my lungs that I love life and I can touch the sky if I wanted too.

to just breath

I get my inspirations alot from watching my children sleeping. Tonight as I was watching Kenzie sleeping. I was reminded why I loved her and Hunter so much.
They bring me back to the basics of life before it got all messy with our expatations and our failed attempts to try and make them reality.
I often faced with many emotions during the day...Its too bad that I don't take a breath inward and just take it all in. Instead of worrying about the mess created in their playroom or the tending to the landry that needs to be folded and put away.
To just take in my children and scoop them up and realize before I know it they will be off to college and married.......to just take in their innocence and their beauty without any expatations. To Just breathe in their life.
I am sure of one of the many reasons God allowed us humans to have children is to show us how much he loves us and just how much it takes to love someone other then ourselves. To know when you hurt, he hurts. When you laugh, he laughs and so on and so on.
It allows us to share in the great complexe dealings of love and life and the greatest of them all God. I love and understand God more through my children then any other experince.

to just breath

I get my inspirations alot from watching my children sleeping. Tonight as I was watching Kenzie sleeping. I was reminded why I loved her and Hunter so much.
They bring me back to the basics of life before it got all messy with our expatations and our failed attempts to try and make them reality.
I often faced with many emotions during the day...Its too bad that I don't take a breath inward and just take it all in. Instead of worrying about the mess created in their playroom or the tending to the landry that needs to be folded and put away.
To just take in my children and scoop them up and realize before I know it they will be off to college and married.......to just take in their innocence and their beauty without any expatations. To Just breathe in their life.
I am sure of one of the many reasons God allowed us humans to have children is to show us how much he loves us and just how much it takes to love someone other then ourselves. To know when you hurt, he hurts. When you laugh, he laughs and so on and so on.
It allows us to share in the great complexe dealings of love and life and the greatest of them all God. I love and understand God more through my children then any other experince.

This journey I call my own

On this journey I call my own, I feel so complete in the tasks I have been given. Even though I have feelings of doubt. If I have I bad day I wish myself to another place and time. Knowing full well that period of time probably wasn't perfact as well.

As I walk through different stages of my journey. Everything changes like the seasons. Some are light and cheery like spring....Another season is like Summer when all is sunny and active full of energy. Ready to concur life itself. My favorite season is fall when the air is crisp and takes your breath away. The leaves change into beautiful colours.
Like a new born baby just born and you are full of such hope but you know everything will change. Or winter when everything is covered with a layer of snow. Everything is in hibernation for a time for that season

As I walk this journey I call my own knowing I will see each of these seasons in my walk and they will forever change whom I am and will become. I use to fight change...now I try to embrace it. Knowing its good and it challenges your mind, body and spirit. Therefore allowing you to be what the Lord wills you to be.

Numbers 23:19 God said"what God promises, he keeps" <><

These are my children all dressed up as we went to Scott's harvest festvial. It had games and rides and lots of food. We had so much fun as a family. Its our first year that the kids understood why everybody dressed up. :0) Its so fun having a family. Aren't they cute ? I think so, they could be models....but I am their mother. Thats it for now, take care and God Bless

deprived or depraved?

Deprived or depraved is the question for today. We try to explain the substance of our nature but fail to truley explain why we do what we do. As I think about this question its easy to blame our parents or hermones or whatever society tells us to beleive. The answer is easy to answer, it goes back thosuands of years to Adam and Eve. Our first parents.....westminster confession says this
"Our first parents...fell from their oringnal righteousness and communion with God, and so became dead in sin and wholly defiled in all faclities and parts of the soul and body. That being the root of all mankind, the guilt of this sin was imputed, and the same death in sin and corrupted nature conveyed to all their posterity, descending from them but ordinary gernaration."

Heavy right? Its right but through the grace of God that isn't the end of the story......God sent christ to give us hope that through him we are considered his righteouness!!! I know that when I was hearing this in our class.
I understood because I often feel so over my head with raising my children and seeing their sin for what it really is without making excuses for them. When they are throwing a fit to see that they want what they want when they want it. That is pure sin but looking at a three year old and 1 1/2 year old is hard to really beleive that but its true, we are born with a sinful heart and only God can save us from it no matter the age we are.

I can truly understand when Paul said I do what I don't want to do and things I ought to do I don't do. Isn't that true. I do try and hopfully that will be accounted to me when I die and go to heaven.

I will pray for you as you ask this question and May God touch your heart and change your life. amen BMH <><

Life is a circle

Life is a circle always never ending always being.
Life being repeated after every genernation.
Behaviours and emotions being played out.
Good and bad keeping the circle around.
Life is being layed out before us.

When does it stop.
When does God mercy fills in when we fail.

I find myself being drag into the circle of gernations.
I try to find the lies and try to seprate it from the truth.
I realize more and more just how not in control I am
But where I fall short God comes into the picture and guides us through until the end.

This week our goup talk about the role that mothers and fathers play in their child's life and the future generations after that. Which is funny I wrote this blog and saved it because I wasn't sure where it was going. Then I saw how the Lord was preparing my heart to listen to what the speaker was speaking to us on thursday. Amazing :0) read titus 2:3-5 Who are you raising and who raised you and how does that effect your life now??

This topic was really hard for me this week since of my background. Neither have my parents where there for me. They where both abstant. The Lord was faithful in sending me friends and a great youth pastors with a great church network. They saw me through even now. I am pretty noraml as normal can be.
Have a great night. God bless
<><

sleepy babies

As my children are screaming and crying for their mommy and daddy I am sitting here trying to not to run in their rooms and comfort them. We are starting today them sleeping in their own rooms. Its been something we got into the habit in doing it and then never got out of it. So, Here we are biting our nails and praying this crying won't last that long. So, far its almost 45 minutes of pure out in out crying. Just now they are starting to go to sleep. Boy or boy that is one of the hardest things I had to do yet as a parent.

Look at these cute children...it jsut breaks your heart. :0( BUT it would be nice to cuddle with my dear husband once in a while. Anyhow, I got to go to bed early tonight cause I have a fashion show to do and I got to get there at 8:30 am in the morning to get ready for the show.....yahoo I can't wait to be and look like a couple thousand dollars good. Even though I don't spend that much in two years of clothes shopping. I going to be glamerous tommorrow. :0) goodnight sweethearts

The river runs through me

As the water runs through the stones I am reminded that this is how life is. A force so strong leaves us never the same. Always moving through, promoting growth. Its amazing to me just how much peace I get knowing that if I want God can be a rushing river through me. I know now that I am sinful and make mistakes. Through Gods grace and mercy I can know I am forgiven.

I took this picture as I watch my children throwing rocks in the river, they could of spent all day doing so and I could of spent all day watching them doing it. This week my husband and I had a emotional long overdue conversation. Having children has been a little harder then we ever have thought it could be.

Just missing the mark completely with each other. Its not like we planned this to happen. I don't think any married couple who love each other see's that happening. As a mother you are pulled in so many directions and if you don't put things in the right place, everything suffers because of it. I realized it but didn't know how to change it.

I was so over my head and Scott was trying the best he could to reach me but he was missing the mark as well. Kids changes everything and it can rock your world good and bad. We made a plan to do dates again, get a babysitter and go out once a month just the two of us. And get the kids into their own rooms....which we are doing this week which is going to be the hardest thing we are going to do. Hunter is going to scream his head off and Mackenzie will too but she'll give up before Hunter will. Its going to be a tough week ahead. These things need to be done to get back on track.

Its amazing how the river runs through us never leave us the same if you allow it. Change is hard but the water is refreshing when drank <><>

six mixed messages that confuse

1. A storybook romance exists only in fairy tales but if you don't have one, your love life is second rate.

2. A real women doen't need a man; but without a man, you're not a real women

3. Hot looking women are dumb, but smart women are hot looking

4. money can't buy me happiness, but it can buy me all the things that will make me happy

5. Above all, be yourself, but comform to all the latest fashions and cultural images.

6. A women's greatest contribution is as wife and a mother, but her greatest achievement is a successful career.

We where told these at the todays bible study and I thought they would be good for those who read this. Just chew on it. These are so true and they hold today's women down. Its hard to figure out which way is which when you are told mixed messages.
Wow.....just think about it :0) short blog today but profound.

Everything is so clear at night......

When the house is quiet and the day is almost finshed. Everything seems to be so clear, During the day it all seems like a haze. Just keep a foot is all that matters and Surival mode kicks in. When the kids are asleep I pray for all their needs now and in the future. I listen to them breathing in and then out. I truley understand the gift of life and just how simple it can be. How we make it so hard with things that really don't matter in the long run but some how we get caught up in the lies that the media and others are telling you.

When all is quiet and you can just sit. I hear the hum of the fish tank and the air conditioner kick on and then off. These moments I really enjoy so I can really think and unblur the day and be thankful for it.
Today the preacher has been speaking about living the adventure...today message was about how to finsh what you started.....I don't know about you its really easy to start a project then to finsh it.
I know that you are saying this is true!!! I know at this stage of my life I am wondering if I am doing a good job at anything or just making it through to the next day and then the next hoping that it will get easier. He gave these verses that totally spoke to me and the place that I am in today.
"Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race" [phipplians 3:13]
This really spoke to me.... Satan uses the past to holds us down. I know that what he uses to me. I replay everything that I have done and what I could of done to make it better or different. It amazes me even years later I am still going over it and over it. Sometimes I wish it would leave me alone. With this verse I realized that I can be released from this and move on and that is okay. Its so easy to forgive others but when It comes to yourself its so hard to forgive what you have done in the past. I can finsh this race and I know I can do it and win the gold!!!!!

What a purpose and a hope that the Lord gives us. He wants to reward the faithful even when we don't think we deserve it. "to win the contest you must deny yourselves many things that would keep you from doing your best...but we do it for a heavenly reward that never disappears. So, I run straight to the goal with PURPOSE in every step" 1Corthians 9:25-26

Also the pastor said something that was so profone to me and It hit me right in the innermost part of me is this. Its about how you finsh the race and not how you started. WOW, I have always been ashamed of where I came from and how I was raised in the system. That other people with a mom and a dad with sisters and brothers where better then me. It was like they had one up on me because they had something I never had.
Now I realize that even families that have everything aren't perfact and all have family issues that can hinder them. So, in reality we are all the same with the same struggle. What a freeing thought for a person like myself who always compared myself to everybody and everything thinking that if only I had that kind of family I would be here or wouldn't be struggling with this thought or problem.

Everybody is in the same boat, that is how God sees it. He is faithful even when we aren't I had some one very close to me one day said I doubt you are even a chrisian..... For years I have doubted myself and to be honest I am sick and tied of playing that game. I want that strength that Paul had. He had done some pretty bad things before he became a christian but in the end he finshed the race with honors. God used him even when every disicple didn't beleive at first that he was a christian. Its amazing that God picks the most unlikely people in the bible....that gives me hope that he has great things in store for me now and in the future. I know that I love the Lord and I know I am still learning but aren't we all? "I know for me and my household we praise the Lord" AMen <>< God who began a good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finshed" Phil 1:6
I will finsh up with that verse God bless and goodnight <><>

spelling errors

please excuse my spelling errors. I sometimes do my blog in between chasing the kids and taking care of the house. read with care. love ya berns <><

trip to Nebraska

We just came back from visting Scott's sister Jackie and her delightful family. It took us a few hours to get there.....21 hours to be correct. The kids did better then I thought they would But this wasn't the first long trip we have done this year. We went to Ohio for Scott's youngest sister's wedding. Thanks God for portable T.V.'s has saved us during long trips that we always end up doing.

The weather was so refreshing from the hot and sticky weather here in texas. We spent the first day just playing in their nice big backyard. Then we went to the zoo (which mainly the pictures are from the zoo) It was the greatest zoo we have been to yet. I learned just as much as the kids. I saw these cool sea horses that looked like trees. It was very cool :0)

We ate at this german restrant that was soooo good......which to find a good german restrant is hard to find. Also we made a early thanksgiving dinner at Jackies house for me cause I love thanksgiving its my favorite hoilday. SO yummy :0) The kids enjoyed seeing their attended family. Anyhow we spent three days there and when it was time to go home it was good to be at our own home, even though I preferr the colder weather. I am still Canadian at heart!!!!

Anyhow, time to eat dinner time to sign off for today enjoy the picutres of our trip and of my family.